I’ve got the respiratory infection that is going around: fever, coughing, and huge fatigue. It’s frustrating because I’m not up to doing the zillions of things that I always do. I pulled it together to do a TV interview hoping I wouldn’t cough during the interview and relieved when I staved it off! I also did a radio interview where I kept pushing the mute button intermittently to hide my coughing. I’ve had to reschedule my coaching appointments, meetings, consultations and arrange for others to cover my classes.
So now, I’m just left with me. In bed. Sick. Feverish. Tired. Listless…but my mind is still really active, thinking…
What value do I have if I am just in bed? I’m worthless unless I’m doing something. I’ve got to go to work …
Then my husband, Bob, just told me he loved me. I heard myself thinking: How can you love me if I’m not doing anything? So, I asked him and he responded with a smile, “I love you just for being here. You are the sweetest little being that I know, even when you piss me off. Right now you don’t piss me off; I just want to hug you.”
He’s helping me re-program my mistaken beliefs about myself and my value, which is what we call Rematrixing. All that stinking thinking I have such as I’m not valuable if I’m not doing something comes from my mistaken beliefs about myself.
One of the categories of stinking thinking I am most prone to is called emotional reasoning: I feel bad so I think I am bad. When I am sick and feel bad, I’m especially susceptible to this form of stinking thinking. I realize I need to take this message in: I am valuable and lovable. I matter. I don’t have to earn love. These are the thoughts that I need to let in. I repeat them to myself as a mantra, imagining Bob’s loving expression as I say them, soaking it in.
The more I can feel the positive thoughts, to let them settle deeply within myself, the more I can Rematrix these positive beliefs. The more conscious I am as I do this, the more these thoughts will become my beliefs.
All of a sudden, I am relaxing and actually thankful that I am sick. Being sick is a good reminder that I am valuable, I am lovable, that my being is as valuable as my doing. Hmmm, I think it’s time for my nap now… ZzZzZzzz