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10 Tips
1 Forget Polly Perfect
If you’re going for perfection when it comes to breaking through yoiur bad habits, you are doomed to failure. You will have huge victories and you will have setbacks. You will not do it perfectly, and perfection is not a goal.
2 The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth:
Most of us minimize, hide or lie about our habits. But you’re going to have to be truthful, at least with yourself, if you expect to set yourself free.
3 I am Hilarious!
One of the most powerful, yet most overlooked tools in your habit-breaking toolkit is humor. The more you laugh at yourself, the more compassion you’ll have and the easier it will be to have success. Fess up to your husband how you snuck ice cream and replaced it with a new container so he wouldn’t know. It’s funny!
4 Compassion is Key
Beating yourself up about what you’ve done in the past or your slip-ups in the process will only undermine
5 Make Your One Decision
A One Decision is a bigger more expansive commitment that you make about what kind of life you want to live. Have the bigger commitment gives you a reason to let go of your habits. For example, if your One Decision is, “I am awake, aware and present to my life,” then zoning out for hours on the internet doesn’t fit.
6 Add to Subtract
Use what Judith calls the Math of MORE in her book The Soft Addiction Solution. With the Math of MORE, you add more nourishing and fulfilling activities so that they crowd out the bad habits or soft addictions. Maybe you turn to coffee because you want to feel more alive and awake. But what other things can you add to your life to make you feel alive? Perhaps you take a walk in nature or an adventure with friends. Add these in first and you’ll be less likely to take a walk to the corner coffee shop.
7 Make Small, Do-Able Commitments
Make a small, achievable commitment that guarantees your success rather than an unrealistic commitment that’s sure to fail. Also make it a short-term commitment for a week or tow that you‘ll revisit. For example, if you have been working out at all, don’t commit to working out 3 days a week. Instead, commit to working out one day a week for the next week. If you happen to work out 3 days that first week, great! Revisit your commitment each week and add to it if you’re feeling successful.
8 Anticipate Breakdowns and Keep Going
Most people, once they make a mistake, stop pursuing their commitment entirely because they think, “I blew it.” A better strategy is to anticipate that you will have a breakdown and know that it is part of the process. When you do slip up, just get right back on the track as soon as possible. If you skipped your workout a couple of days in a row, just get back to working out as soon as possible.
9 Get support
Keeping commitments is challenging and you need accountability. We cannot break through our habits or achieve our goals alone. Find a group or a buddy who will regularly revisit your commitments.
(visit www.judithwright.com for a variety of ways to get support.)
10 Celebrate Success
One of the most overlooked and powerful tools for successful personal change is celebrating success in any fashion. Maybe you ate 2 donuts this week instead of three. Celebrate it! Our tendency is to beat ourselves up because we ate the two donuts rather then recognize that we’ve actually begun to shift our behavior. Changes that stick are not all or nothing. Instead, they are ongoing commitments, and every success you celebrate will encourage you to have even more successes.
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